Not a very easy question to answer though I suspect that there are many reading this right now that would be shaking their heads in agreement – about the ‘being miserable’ part. As I talk to more and more women in my FREE 45 minute Possibility to Profit™ Developing Your Brand and Build Your Buzz Strategy Sessions, I hear them talk about how ashamed they were to say that they were not happy in their jobs. After all, with the economy being what it is today, they should be grateful that they’ve got a good job that pays well and provide benefits. Being in a situation such as this is best described by Gibran who says “Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite.”
Let’s go back in time a bit to see how you arrived at this ‘good job’ in the first place. Pamela Slim author of “Escape From Cubicle Nation” says “I realized when looking at my entire career since college that I had just fallen into jobs without thinking about them much. I had a vague interest in computer science, but never thought I would end up as a fulltime programmer cranking out code in a gray cubicle. How in the world did I get here and how can I get out?” When I was in high school you chose between the languages or the sciences. I chose the latter. I did try to survive Chemistry at University level but I was definitely drowning. Then there are of course well meaning parents who wish to share their wisdom and point us in the right direction by choosing for us what they think are the best careers based on money and status etc.
When you’re young with lots of energy on your side – you approach everything as a challenge. It’s as if life is a huge game board and all you need to do is figure out a way to win at this seemingly complex but enjoyable game. When you’re just starting out in your career you are hungry. You know if you stay on the sidelines and pretend to be polite you will be eaten alive. You pursue personal success driven by a self centred desire which could be heard beating in your chest in the easily recognizable phrase… “I want, I want, I want…”
Now that you’ve lived long enough and enjoyed a certain amount of success in fulfilling your desires you often discover that you are not totally happy. In fact you are downright miserable but have to keep showing up, day in day out, with a brave smile, and armed with ideas and strategies to save the day – EVERYDAY!
Now here’s the warning: You cannot keep faking your happiness. Fate has a way of shoving our faces into our own dirt, so to speak. But don’t judge fate wrongly. Fate is good and kind and only there to signal that you need to readjust your cause so that you may achieve things way beyond your present comparatively meagre successes.
When you are at this phase in your life it is usually caused by some dramatic turning point such as personal tragedy, the loss of a loved one, professional setbacks or financial disaster. You might find that quite unjustly, what you care about most or hurts you the most is precisely what you experience.
Please don’t try to muster up the fight that you had when you were much younger. Not that I think that you can’t fight but that it’s pointless fighting. Fighting would not make the situations disappear. Let what is happening to you be your guide.
You are not crazy nor are you being ridiculous to admit disenchantment. Being miserable is an indicator that you need to begin searching inside. Sometimes this is hard for us as we may not like what we see – like our own character defects and pettiness, however when we confront our ‘dark’ sides that’s when true transformation begins. When we surrender is when we begin to see the agenda of the Divine take root.