You’ve made the decision that you not only should change – you MUST!
You know it’s in your best interest to make the adjustment or in some cases a complete transformation.
Logically – it all makes sense and so you set out on your change journey only to find yourself back at square one just a couple days into the change process.
Most of us rely on will power to effect change. Dr. Robert Anthony says that will power is an illusion. What we call will power is really conscious awareness. What happens when we decide to change is that we are consciously aware and so begin to effect change immediately. After a couple of days we might relax and slip right back into unconscious behavior.
The other thing that happens is that we have a false expectation of how longs it’s going to take to change. We want change to take effect the minute we think it but of course this isn’t so.
And finally there’s so much information about the effects of the change and the benefits but no instruction as to how to change and what to expect.
I met a guy recently on my short flight between Trinidad and Tobago and we got to talking about books and leadership. He told me that one time someone told him that he needed to read more. But the instruction didn’t stop there. This person then suggested that he go to the bookstore and actually buy a book followed by the suggestion that he tear out the first three pages of the book and read those three pages that day. He was to repeat the ‘rip three to read’ process daily until he finished the book.
Now I suspect that the three pages ripped out of the book was a small goal compared to holding the entire 270 odd pages or however many pages his first book contained and feeling overwhelmed by the thought that you had to read the entire thing.
So there was method in what might have first appeared to be a weird suggestion in supporting the change process.
My friend and colleague Dr. Marcia Reynolds says ‘change is a process that needs support.’
Don’t just depend on your will power or what we now know as conscious awareness. You are not made up to be consciously aware 24/7 ; you will relax and when you do your old habitual ways of doing whatever will surface. Talk to persons who’ve done what you want to do and hear about their methods. Test to see if it is a good fit. Also let a friend know that you’re trying to change so that they can encourage you and support you in the process. And finally be patient and loving and KIND! For whatever small changes you do make congratulate yourself and be encouraged. Change may not come overnight but once you persist you will eventually make the necessary changes that you need to in your life.