Are You Emotionally Overweight?

mocha moments

There’s so much going on about diets…STILL! New ones surface daily. Old ones prevail with attendant fans who live by it. Everyone is looking for the same thing: Lose weight with the least amount of effort lol.

But what of our emotional weight? Do we ever stop to think how much stuff we carry around. It’s not just weighing on our minds, it permeates our cells and results in aches and pain, tension and fatigue.

While vacationing in Seattle I came across this book called ‘The Trance of Scarcity: Stop Holding Your Breath and Start Living Your Life’ by Victoria Castle. The title captivated me but I didn’t start reading it until I got back to Trinidad.

In her introduction the author says:

What eclipses people’s greatness? What stops us short from being as creative, caring, and resilient as we are? What is it that squeezes the life out of us so stealthily that we volunteer to shrink to a shadow of our true selves? ….In working with thousands of people, I have repeatedly encountered the tragic theme of I am not enough – not good enough, smart enough, rich enough, young enough, old enough, worthy enough. Almost as prevalent is the theme There is not enough – not enough time, money, opportunity, love, cooperation, power, you name it. This prevailing premise of not-enoughness successfully cripples the lives of people who would otherwise be buoyant and passionate.

Who would otherwise be buoyant and passionate, means that the whole thinking process around ‘not enough’ is weighing us down – emotionally and physically.

I didn’t realize it before reading this but I am addicted to struggle. I tell a story of how difficult it is to be on my own and build a successful business. I want it to be hard. This doesn’t mean that life is without challenges but there is a difference when you set yourself up for struggle versus seeing yourself through a difficult period. I’m also addicted to the approval of others. Is what I’m doing ‘OK?” Am I on the right track? I want everyone to AGREE with my point of view and when they don’t I tell myself that I am wrong. I doubt myself. But…what if I was right? Is it even about right or wrong or just a differing perspective that might be helpful to someone having a similar experience? Approval addiction eclipses our real need and that is to feel a part of…to belong, to contribute and to connect. We were meant to connect but we already belong.

How do we stop this? Victoria says “to successfully upgrade from scarcity and struggle to abundance and ease, we must interrupt and dislodge old patterns that have been living quite comfortably within us, acting like they own the place.”

I expect upheaval in my own life because this process is disruptive and uncomfortable. No more comfort and stasis but no more tolerating captivity either. I want freedom and am prepared to help others free themselves.

This to me IS the missing link. If we somehow have managed to live outside ourselves for so long – how can we know who we are and what we want? Only when we realign and settle back into our rightful place, would we be emotionally untethered so that we can SEE our gifts and use them to make the creative distinction that is our unique contribution in this world.

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