Our happiness always seems to be conditional on something happening FIRST, before we can be happy. Usually that “something” is outside of us. It might be a promotion at work. It might be acquiring a new outfit. It might be getting a face-lift. It might be changing our geographic location.
I agree that something does have to happen FIRST but it has nothing to do with external circumstances. It has to do with us acknowledging and working through our feelings. We run from any emotion that makes us uncomfortable because we label them bad and unhealthy instead of looking to them as a signal to stay present, remain open-minded and receptive to learning what this particular feeling is telling us about ourselves and what we NEED; and how we need to change so that we can heal. Whenever we feel frustration it’s because we don’t understand what’s going on WITHIN us, and in an effort to gain control, try to change things outside of ourselves.
Our greatest learning occurs in situation where another person brings out the worst in us. This could be a family member, colleague at work or someone you grew up around as a child. I realized a long time ago that we do not GROW in isolation. We need other people to grow and sometimes that help does not come in the form of nicely packaged lessons delivered in a sunny classroom. It often comes as buttons being pushed and lots of emotional upheaval. This is OK. Don’t run. Instead ask yourself: “What do I most need to learn from this experience ABOUT MYSELF?”
We cannot CHANGE the other person. We cannot PRAY the situation away. If it persists it’s only because we have not learnt what we need to about ourselves.
We must clean out what is destroying our spirit and really work through the pain. Pretending it is not hurting our soul is a way of saying we do not deserve happiness – Dr. Donna Lee
What we really FEEL and BELIEVE about ourselves and our lives is what we will attract. If we don’t feel WORTHY and DESERVING of happiness we will never find it.