It starts early on in life.
I don’t feel like…
- doing my homework
- cleaning my room
- making up my bed
- exercising
- going to church
- doing the dishes
- studying
- writing that book report
Even if we have a huge goal in front of us, something we really want – like REALLY REALLY 🙂 – we still succumb to not feeling like doing whatever it is needs to be done.
There are tons of ideas out there about goal setting, getting started, about why you might hate goal setting and why you need to stop setting goals.
I think you know on some level that you need to push past not feeling to take an action especially those actions that will bring you closer to what you want but you need to figure out your HOW. And the only way to do that is to start something. Experiment. Don’t focus on the outcome. Set a time period during which you will conduct your first experiment. Results won’t lie. Your approach is either working or not. If it’s working, continue. If it’s not tweak.
We’ve become a “look for answers from those fortunate enough to be born with what appears to be a special gene for easily setting an achieving goals.” We behave as if we are powerless over our own lives. We’ve all but stopped using our own brains to figure things out. So many gurus and superstars to show the way…to tell us how.
You are standing in your own way between what you want, and your approach to getting what you want [your own process] because of these three blocks:
- Flawed beliefs caused by faulty assumptions
- A lack of clarity
- Inaccurate maps of achievement
In the last four years I’ve added about 20 something pounds to my body that I don’t want. I kept saying “I want to lose weight” but I didn’t feel like exercising. I started to look at what I was eating. That pissed me off because I didn’t feel like measuring what I was eating. Recently I shifted my attention away from losing weight and looking at what I was eating. I decided that I was going to walk daily. That’s it. Every day. No matter what.
Here’s what I’ve figured out so far:
Initially I’m developing the habit of walking. My goal is simple: WALK DAILY. In my journal it’s the first task I enter and when I’m done walking – I put a tick in the box. I am not focused on how fast or how far I walk.
In the past I’d try to do too much too soon. It took four years to put on the weight and I wanted to lose it all in a week! Don’t laugh – you know what I’m talking about.
In the four years, I’ve lost some weight but I put it back on again because my focus was on the weight goal. It was depressing. I was upset most of the time because I wasn’t losing fast enough. So then I’d quickly revert to unhealthy habits. Which brings me to another observation – trying to make too many changes at once leads to overwhelm and fast burnout.
Accountability increases results and sometimes before we can get someone else’s help we need to be accountable to ourselves – daily and weekly.
Success is not about reaching a particular goal. Real success is about doing what you say you’re going to, whether you FEEL to or not. Every day I walk, I feel good about myself. The more I walk, the more I feel confident that I can walk the next day, and the next.
James Clear says
“Confidence is just displayed ability.” Put another way: “Prove it to yourself in small ways and you’ll develop the confidence that you can improve.” In other words, small wins repeated over time can lead to a growth mindset.
What can you do today to push past your “I don’t feel like..”?
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