I took it personally…

mocha momentsI have to learn not to.

I always want the best for people. What I share is based on stuff that I’ve read that resonated with me on a deep level, and which I feel others could benefit from. Could be a quote, a paragraph from an article, a book recommendation.

I would love if all my readers and subscribers stayed with me forever….that they wouldn’t unsubscribe. When they unsubscribe I take it personally. My ego is bruised. What did they not like? Am I not making sense anymore? Did I offend them in the last post?

My good friend Michael Katz says he used to cringe when people unsubscribed, but not so much anymore. Michael says that paying attention to unsubscribes is not productive.

One of his subscribers, Ira Bryck explains why

At a Constant Contact event she asked the speaker how to raise your open rate. The speaker replied “clean your list.”

The people who are not your natural customers are doing you no good, and by playing to them, you dilute your message.

She gave another example using her family’s 4th generation children’s clothing store. Her mother would say “if everyone goes out with something, you’re overstocked.” You can’t possibly be a match with everyone.

Many of us are familiar with the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz – one of which is – don’t take anything personally.

the_four_agreements

This is easier said than done. Like my best friend Rox would tell you – “It’s about me – It’s PERSONAL!” 🙂

But I do get it. In taking the fact that someone unsubscribed from my list personally means that I am making an assumption as to the why. (Which incidentally is another agreement lol)

I reached out to one unsubscriber and learned a lot from what she said. She was turned off by my including someone else’s approach to finding out more about who you are and she felt that my wisdom and authenticity was enough.

She also said something that Michael and Ira were saying but in her own way:

I want you to keep giving your wisdom to those who need it most.

I don’t know who those folks are – those that need it most. But you know who you are.

What I do know is WHO I AM and what I am here to do and so I will continue doing that while working on the part of me that feels slighted when someone unsubscribes! I am after all…a work in progress. 🙂

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Image from http://howigrewtoday.com/2014/02/stuff-i-like-the-four-agreements-by-miguel-angel-ruiz/
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