Bouncing between a stormy past and an unknowable future…

The Point of Power is in the Present – Jane Roberts

How busy our minds are…pondering past situations…trying to wrap our heads around future “what-ifs”…yet NOW is really all we have.

I have not yet learned to live in the now. I seem to be a little fearful of staying there, “after all”, I think, “I have to figure out what’s going to happen…my future needs my full attention.”

Yet as I bounce between my stormy past (because all I could seem to focus on, while looking in my rear-view mirror, are the negative things – messy and untidy.); and the unknowable future…I find myself experiencing an anxiety filled present thought I’m not really living in the moment…I am sort of floating in the moment…with the thoughts…bouncing back and forth.

childlike wonderJoe Dispensa reminds us that whatever we spend our time mentally attending to, this is what we are and what we will become.

I am therefore, based on my present mental diet, a ball of anxious anticipation of something dread because I simply just cannot accept happiness.

When you know better you do better and I am aware that this is not a good place to be. I am reminded of my youth, reading Winnie the Pooh, Peter Pan, Bobbsey Twins and Nancy Drew…Noddy…and my all time favourite…the Owl and the Pussycat. I basked in innocence and wonder, curiosity and joy. I could read…I would imagine…and just in the moment be instantly in another place…living the story…feeling every word.

I am going to practice and practice, being where I am. I am going to feel the fear. I am going to feel the anxiety but I’m going to remember the joy and the happy moments too, and bask in being grateful, simply because…simply because….no reason being necessary.