In his book, The Art of Significance, Dan Clark says that we should trust predictability instead of hope and faith.
Hope and faith propel us to try something, he says but too many people drop to their knees to pray versus standing on their feet and doing their part in facilitating an answer to their prayers.
Trust is grounded in something…over time we become aware of WHO WE ARE and so we take assurance in the predictability and consistency of US.
We build a foundation of trust when we do what we say we’re going to do. Through action, failing, betrayal, tragedy etc, we learn and grow and understand ourselves more deeply.
Dan says, the more we fall back on excuses, the less we actually KNOW ourselves in all our ambiguity and complexity and the less able we are to trust ourselves.
We must act despite our fear and believe, beforehand, that what we’re setting out to do is possible. Hindsight is always 20-20 so it is in the doing that we grow to rely on our self knowledge and trust in our capability. There is no other way but through.
If we are afraid of others, we can’t meet them with trust, and if we are afraid of life, then there is nothing to trust.
We need to take bold action – a small step perhaps, but make it count.
Self knowledge is at the seat of everything we do and self trust is borne out of:
- Self awareness – the accurate assessment of who we are
- Self acceptance – the embracing of who we are in our complexity
- Self reliance – the ability to use what we know about ourselves, to get the results we want in our lives without constant worry about the approval or disapproval of others.
Trust is earned in the doing and that doing must be done with integrity. Be impeccable with your word, Don Miguel Ruiz tells us. Be truthful. Do what you say you’re going to, speak the truth especially when it’s difficult and know that unless you act with the belief that what you’re pursuing is possible, you are not going to get anywhere close to getting it.
Learning to trust ourselves requires complete honesty. We must stand up to our excuses, alibis, shortcomings and failures. We need to dismantle everything so there is nothing to hide behind to explain away why we are not doing what we set out to, when the going gets tough.
This has been a missing piece in my equation for a long time. I often share that until the head meets the heart, there is no understanding. I “knew” all this before yet somehow the words seem more meaningful…it’s like it all makes sense.
Belief in yourself and your ability to execute precedes everything and as you act and learn from your experiences, you trust yourself more and more, relying on your strengths, talents, uniqueness and giftedness patterns, to influence positively and create a life of significance.