I’m not going to wait till I’m ready, or it’s perfect. I’m writing, whenever I’m inspired to do so and it’s “OK” if you think me self indulgent.
Gosh, so much editing in my past has finally caught up with me.
My hand tremor has moved from a 2 to an 8 on the anxiety Richter scale but it won’t stop me. As of today, I really don’t give a shit who sees my hands shake. I accept it and in so doing I intend to let it go. Deal with my emotions…allow life to flow. This idea that I am in control is B.S. I am not.
In the Sedona Method, emotions are described as an arousal of energy, energy in motion intended to motivate and support the will to action.
According to Anita Briggs DCEd, MSc, DAc, emotions are intended to pass through, alerting and arousing us. WHen this natural process is arrested, then the emotions get stuck and stuffed in our bodies. We are not our emotions, although we often end up identifying with them. “I am angry” rather than “I feel angry.
When we do this over a lifetime, we can become so enmeshed in the emotions (e.g. chronic states of anxiety or depression) that we think it’s who we are. We then lose all ability to “let go”.
I am letting go.
And I got some help too.
Decided to pick up this book aptly called “Stop Doing that SH*T” because I need to stop doing quite a bit of tata myself. Although this time, there will be no whips, just taking awkward, weird, shaky, steps daily and not giving a fu*k about what other people are thinking.
I am sometimes anxious. I am not my anxiety. I accept that I have practiced habits that make me anxious indeed however I’m trying different things.
One thing I stopped doing was journaling, so I have started back however like the “World According to Garp” I am doing the world according to the Real G – ME! I’m figuring this shit out, with help but it will be what feels right to me. I know that getting to my centre feels good so I will be doing my own brand of meditation…what works for me. I will be playing my guitar more and digging into some Angel inspiration.
I’m tired of this load that I’ve been carrying, wanting to have perfect days with made beds, and clean sinks, salads and a consistent exercise regime. All these aspects may figure in my life however I want flow.
No longer am I going to try to control my life to the point of having to do over every day to get it right. How I’m doing it today is good enough for me. I’m not accepting mediocrity however I know that I have all but killed myself off with those false prescriptions that I have been following.
I’m not asking you to join me on this journey. I will encourage you to seek your own path, your own way.
It’s time for me to be real with the Real G and stop doing that shit that’s not been working anyway!