Are You Ready to Conquer the Behaviours that Sabotage your Success?

Just under a week ago, I came across a quote by Melody Beattie that got me thinking about what really happens in that space between what we say we want and what actually happens.

But first, here’s that quote:

Do not ask for love unless you’re ready to be healed enough to give and receive love. Do not ask for joy unless you’re ready to feel and release your pain, so you can feel joy. Do not ask for success unless you’re ready to conquer the behaviours that would sabotage success.

I was particularly interested in the last sentence. Of course success means different things to different people but the premise is the same: regardless of what you say you want, set out to get, would like to achieve – there are some behaviours that are sabotaging your success. Are you willing to conquer them?

As you grow in life, and experience more and more of it, things you knew earlier on take on a completely different meaning. I am reminded of a couple verses from the Bible: first Corinthians, chapter nine, verses twenty-four to twenty-seven:

24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

There is no question that Paul was talking about self-discipline, self-control and the importance of finishing well.

Olympic champion Dan Gable, the legendary wrestler with an unmatchable work ethic and dedication to success moves audiences to tears whenever he shares his tale of tragedy, perseverance, redemption, and ultimately, heartbreaking courage. Today his accomplishments remain unparalleled in the sports world.

In an essay called The One Thing You Must Do, Craig Ballantyne highlights Gable’s story.  “His training habits became legendary. He was the first one into practice and the last one out. Workouts were performed with the mantra of “Push to Collapse.” Each session was dedicated to working so hard he would have to be physically carried off the wrestling mat by the end. One by one he exhausted all of his training partners on his high school and eventually college teams. Gable went on to win the Gold medal at the ’72 Olympics by dominating his competition, no doubt in large part due to his training philosophy and dedication to working harder than anyone else in the world.”

self sabotageHow many of us are willing to break through the limitations of our mind, to challenge ourselves to do whatever it takes to get what we say what we want?

If you think that you can achieve success without changing anything in your life then I can guarantee that you won’t.

A similar fate will befall those who decide to acknowledge those behaviours that need changing and continue making excuses as to why they are, the way they are.

If you are the person who agrees that you SHOULD change…that there are definitely things that you need to work on BUT you can’t do that right now because you need to do X, Y, or Z first…then you will just keep on putting off what you MUST do and never follow through in making the changes necessary to enjoy success.

If however you’re someone who takes your success seriously then you will immediately begin taking stock of yourself. You will start to critically review your behaviors looking for those weak spots that need reinforcement. You will be willing to put your pride on the shelf, shove your ego aside, and start to do whatever is necessary to work on and change those habits. You WILL realize your greatest dreams of success.

Knowledge is only as good as it is applied and used. You can read all you want. You can be the best repository of information on any and all aspects of personal development and business success. However if you NEVER take action – you will never succeed.

Since March, I started a new habit of walking every day. I recently challenged myself to walk up Patience Hill, where I live in Tobago. I fondly call it my *beeatch*. The first time I walked that hill…I felt like I was wading through molasses. My legs felt heavy and my body felt unable to move forward. I walked that hill recently and was surprised when I got to the end. I did it in a much shorter time than I had ever done before, and it seemed easier to do.  It occurred to me that my initial thoughts, when I first considered walking up that hill was that it was tough and challenging and I would never be able to do it comfortably. After two months of walking regularly I built the stamina to conquer the hill!

And so it is with everything. You have to really want something. You can’t say you want this today and that tomorrow. Stick with your goal. Be stubborn about it, but be flexible about your methods. Keep changing your approach until you get what you want. If you’re serious you need to be working toward that goal EVERY SINGLE DAY! And with every new day and new breath of life, you must be willing to act in the direction of your dream. This is the only way.

What you sow you will reap. We all have limitations. We all possess certain behaviours that hinder instead of help us. Let go of the excuses and latch on to the process of changing those behaviours. If you put in the effort you will begin to see changes. Your behaviours are your life. As your new behaviours become ingrained they’ll soon be like second nature to you and then and only then will you begin to benefit from the success you so richly deserve!


The Gospel of Discontent

All progress proceeds from discontent.

It’s the first step if you want to attain anything. It’s what gets us to take that next step in the adventure called life.

When we are content we sometimes can stop the wheels of our own progress.

Work up a lather around being dissatisfied about where you are, and you’re sure to take the next step to get you out of there.

Discontent feeds your desire to change. Use it to your advantage.

The Power isn't in the Money…

Radix Malorum est Cupiditas – The LOVE of money is the root of all evil.

Money doesn’t grow on trees

If I just had more money I would…

It’s sad that so much faith is put in money. We think about money ALL the time. Getting more. Getting by. Getting out of debt. Winning the Lotto. Getting an inheritance.

Everything’s gonna be alright once I have enough money!

Where’s the power though – in the money – or within each of us?

Having left my job since 1994 I have always been responsible for making money to support myself. There have been good times and very bad times but this is what I’ve learnt:

Whenever I focus purely on ‘the money’ I usually find getting work much harder. Whenever I focus on what value I can add to someone’s life or how I can really make a difference then the money flows.

Money really has no power. We all can create the money we need based on the what we can give – the value we bring to the table.

We must recognize and respect the ideas that we get: the thoughts of making a difference, the dreams that we dream of solutions to pressing problems and instead of thinking that we could only bring those ideas to fruition WITH money – let’s channel our energies in stoking the fire of our DESIRE to bring the ideas to  life. Let’s work on our belief that it’s possible and that we would not have been given the idea without the option of its possibility. It’s really up to us. Our thoughts and ideas are our money.

As Robert Collier said: “The secret of success lies in this: There is inside you a Seed of Life capable of drawing to you any element you need, to bring to fruition whatever of good you desire. But like all other seeds, its shell must be broken before the kernel inside can use its attractive power. And that shell is thicker, harder, than the shell of any seed on earth. Only one thing will break it – heat from WITHIN – a desire so strong, a determination so intense, that you cheerfully throw everything you have into the scale to win what you want. ”

In other words we need to take good care of our ideas (our money).

Let’s not just dismiss our thoughts as impossible. Let’s put faith where faith needs to be put – internally – on nurturing and growing those idea seeds.

Kitten photo from

If you can see it, then you start to feel it…


There is a beautiful song by Tuck and Patti called Dream that I loved the first time I ever heard it. It’s all about turning our dreams into reality and so there is a part in the song that gives instructions as to how to do that…

If you can see it
Then you start to feel it
The next thing you know, you believe
And that’s when dreams begin to come true

It’s the same set of instructions Napoleon Hill gives if you want to turn your desire into riches.

  • Decide on the amount.
  • See yourself already in possession of it
  • Really believe that it is already yours

Just seeing it is not enough.

Saying out loud that you want it – will not do you any good either.

Only when thoughts are mixed with feeling do they gain entry into the subconscious mind – that fertile field that will give you exactly what you ask for as it connects with Infinite Intelligence.

Think of it like your very own chemistry experiment with FAITH being the head chemist.






How to get what you say you want

According to Wikipedia ‘a pet fence or fence-less boundary is a wire around the perimeter of a home, designed to keep a pet within the boundaries of the property without the use of a physical barrier. The wire (which may be buried) carries a radio signal, while the pet wears a lightweight receiver collar which emits a warning sound when the pet nears the boundary. If the warning is ignored and the pet crosses beyond the boundary of the fence, the pet receives a mild electric shock. The pet soon learns to avoid the invisible fence location, making it an effective virtual barrier.’

When you consider it – we create our own invisible fences in our mind – barriers to making progress. Make no mistake – we create them. You know you’re approaching your fence when you begin to feel afraid, and rather than press on through the ‘shock’ we stay just behind the fence in our comfort zone unable to move any further.

Our dreams, goals and desires pretty much get stuck and unless we do something about the fence they remain there haunting us and sometimes making us very miserable!

The good news is that you are the contractor who put up the fence and you can be the demolition person to take it down. Just remember that it took you quite some time to build this fence so give yourself enough time to take it down. Prepare yourself for a little ‘shock’ when you try to walk past the fence but the pain of that is never going to be as bad as leaving your dreams stuck in limbo forever.

Every time you feel like you’re approaching a ‘fence’ that’s hindering your growth – think about the tennis ball stuck in the fence as your goal. All it needs is a little nudge from you – to set that goal, idea, or desire – FREE!

Photo courtesy Carlos Porto @