the power and profitability of your business lies in asserting your uniqueness

Respect your own opinions more and those of others less, especially when it comes to your areas of expertise, to the field you have immersed yourself in.

ROBERT GREENE – The Laws of Human Nature – The Law of Repression

When we are young we cannot do anything other than express who we really are. We cry because we are hurt and upset, we sing and dance without fear of judgment, we reach out for a hug because we need comfort. This is us expressing our needs in a spontaneous and authentic way.

But when these expressions are met with indifference, conditions, judgment, criticism, ridicule, and all the other ways that demonstrate that they do not appreciate, like, or condone such behaviours the child begins to see that expressing themselves in that way is painful.

If these mismatched, inappropriate, or abusive responses are consistent the child learns to develop strategies to protect themselves from pain, hurt and discomfort. [If you would like to take a more in depth look as to why we do what we do…click here. It’s a 13 minute read.]

This is how it all started. This was the point at which we began to hide who we really are.

This false self is our protector. It worked when we were growing up because it allowed us ways to have our needs met while shielding us from hurt and disappointment.

In many cases we have overcompensated to overcome and finally show the world that we are not what we were ridiculed for as children.

Ever been told – you’d never amount to anything? Or that you are dumb, don’t know anything? No one will like you because you’re so outspoken?

What we did to cope is to become the opposite of what we were told, figuring out, that this was the way to love, inclusion, support and happiness.

The thought behind not being intelligent would be that only intelligence will make me feel worthy of love.

As a child I remember many instances of being ignored. In order to be “seen” I became the jester, the joker…I felt that in order to be loved, I needed to be entertaining.

Who’s in the driver’s seat now though? If it you as a child, projecting an image to protect and shield you from pain or is it the real you?

Real life includes being bruised and battered. Real life includes loss. Real life includes rejection, disappointment, hurt. Real life involve not getting everything you want when you want it.

If you haven’t already, read the Velveteen Rabbit.

You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby.

But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.

MARGERY WILLIAMS – The Velveteen Rabbit

It’s time to examine how your false self has been showing up in your business.

We have become a sea of sameness in an ocean of possibility. Where does this leave us? Fighting for business because our customers can’t discern difference. Everyone seems to be offering the same solutions so how do customers choose? On price of course! Are you beginning to see that your profitability hangs in the balance once you continue to allow your false self to lead?

Removing the protective armor of the false self is not as simple as shrugging it off. It will take time but the time to start is now.

Think of your ideas, approaches…ways you have come up with to do what you do. Your approach to processes, your formula for effective communication, the algorithm you use to solve a problem or execute a task. Anything that you do that bubbles up inside, and despite the protective outer armor, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is coming from you – the real you.


Do not let others tell you, you can’t, it won’t work, you’re stupid, insane, you are wasting time.

Or the seemingly benign yet equally insidious – you won’t be able to do that here in Trinidad and Tobago, in the Caribbean; no one will buy it, Trinidad not ready for that, you are way ahead of your time, stick with what you know.

Sidestep all that obstacle bull shit and PRESS ON!

When you begin leading from your true core, when you are unafraid of the consequences, and prepared for if it doesn’t go exactly as planned; when you align head and heart and that invisible force you can feel guiding you, this is exactly the point at which you will begin to enjoy your personal power.

Operating within your uniqueness, is the most profitable thing you can do for you, and your business!

the effort from good to great gets easier when you’re aligned

What counts can often not be counted, and what is counted often doesn’t count.

How do you measure progress, in your life, in your business? What are you counting?

I started to think more deeply about this when I considered how much energy it takes to birth our dreams. After reading Maria Nemeth’s book, Mastering Life’s Energies, I created this presentation: Give yourself the gift of discovering why you sometimes don’t always achieve your goals.

Whatever we choose to do in this lifetime takes energy but I think we underestimate just how much energy we will need.

For example creativity.

We often talk in broad brush strokes with regard to creativity. Some of us feel we are creative. Many of us feel we don’t have a creative bone in our body.

Robert Greene says that creative activity is not an intellectual pursuit. Creativity involves your entire being – your emotions, levels of energy, character and mind.

It requires time and effort, years of experimenting and failing and the ability to put aside everything else in pursuit of that worthy goal.

It’s no wonder that persistence is one of the steps to riches in Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. We must be willing to persist, have patience and have faith, which as described by Hill, is the head chemist of the mind. When FAITH is blended with the vibration of thought, the subconscious mind instantly picks up the vibration, translates it into its spiritual equivalent, and transmits it to Infinite Intelligence, as in the case of prayer.

However, it would be wise to choose a pursuit that is best for you, that is aligned with how you do things and your motivation behind doing those things.

You could have the most brilliant mind, teeming with knowledge and ideas, but if you choose the wrong subject or problem to attack, you can run out of energy and interest. In such a case all of your intellectual brilliance will lead to nothing.

ROBERT GREENE – Mastery chapter V: Awaken the Dimensional Mind

What connects to you emotionally? When you can figure this out then ideas will start coming to you.

One of my business associates Danica Trebel is a “Why Detector”. If you want to find out why you do what you do, if you would like to know who you are at a deeper level, let me know and I’ll send you a link to meet with Danica and see if this is best for you.

This is why the first step I take with clients is what I call “GET YOU”. If you don’t understand who you are, if you can’t easily communicate what you do and how you solve problems then earning money in your business will be like pushing a huge boulder uphill. Tiring and unnecessary.

Remember it takes a lot of energy to manifest what you desire. Don’t spend time working on or in areas that don’t best serve you. Get you first and everything else will fall into place – how you build your business, and of course how you earn.

does this behavior help me become the type of person I wish to be?

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”  – Tony Robbins

Ask better questions, get better answers.

  1. Have you ever created a brilliant plan, feel energized about that plan and then watch as you self sabotage and not act on that plan?
  2. Have you ever started your day making a list of all you needed to do that day, and then at the end of the day, realize that you did NOTHING on your list?
  3. Have you ever promised yourself that you would start eating better, exercising daily, making better choices and then watch as you wreck your own plans?

How we behave counts.

It doesn’t matter our intentions. Our actions move the needle.

Wallace Wattles tells us in the Science of Being Rich:

You can never foresee the full results of even the most trivial act…much may be depending on your doing some simple act, which may be the very act meant to open the door to great possibilities. So do EVERY DAY all that can be done that day.

In Atomic Habits, James Clear examines why we find it difficult to change our habits, our behaviour? Because we are not aware of what we are actually doing, changing habits remains our biggest challenge. Once we become more aware of our habits we can then see which habits are effective that is, habits that are SOLVING our problems.

James says, all habits serve us which is why we repeat even those that sabotage our progress.

He suggests kicking off with a habit scorecard. Some of his suggestions:

  • Wake up
  • Turn off alarm
  • Check my phone
  • Go to the bathroom
  • Weigh myself
  • Take a shower
  • Brush my teeth
  • Floss my teeth
  • Put on deodorant

And so on…

Once you have a full list, look at each behaviour and ask yourself is it a good habit, a bad habit or a neutral habit.

Then look at the habit in relation to your goals.

A even better approach would be to look at who you desire to be – what kind of person. Is what you doing daily helping this identity or killing it?

Your first goal is awareness – to become more aware of WHAT you’re doing.

Observe your thoughts too. Are your thoughts supporting you or are they taking you further off course? Are your thoughts helping you or harming you?

Make a list of your recurring thoughts and then add the score:

  • +ve means positive
  • -ve means negative
  • = means neutral

This is why goals, without a change in who you need to become to achieve those goals, are left on lists and never become real. If we are driven my outcome we are more likely to fail. If we focus on becoming – what qualities must a person going after a particular goal embrace in order to reach that goal.

This is the tipping point.


How do you need to think and act in order to achieve what you’ve been promising yourself for way too long?

do you agree that frustration is a sign you haven’t given up?

You would not be frustrated if whatever you’re doing didn’t matter to you. You are frustrated because some thing is not working in a way that you imagined it to work. Often we remain so close to an issue that we are unable to see the forest from the trees. We are so wedded to an outcome that we are blind to the progress we are actually making. We are distracted by all the noise out there that we are unable to hear our own truth and the clarity that comes with that.

We are frustrated because we are not living OUR life. We are living a version of “this is how it is supposed to be”; “this is where we should be by now…”

According to whom?

We are frustrated because we are living a lie. We are busy projecting a successful external version of ourselves while trying to bury the voice speaking our truth.

We are asking how can I make money doing that, which seems a legitimate question, yet despite the money we are making doing that other thing is still not bringing us peace, joy or satisfaction.

Whitney Houston always knew she wanted to sing. Sure she was born into a known family but she couldn’t skate on that alone. She needed to master her craft. When she sang she sang from her head, her heart and her gut. Her life was consumed with singing.

We are frustrated because we turn against our own desires in lieu of a life dictated by someone else. We follow generalized blueprints of success. It’s lazy, we know, but we do it anyway.

The frustration remains. It is a sign that we haven’t given up but let’s not expend energy in places where we won’t get meaningful results. Let’s put effort into that thing that is eating away at you and needs to be birthed. It doesn’t matter that Fred said it was stupid. Fuck Fred! It doesn’t matter that she said it didn’t make sense. What does she know?

You know that you know that you know.

And when you do the thing that matters most to you, I can’t promise that you will be totally cured of needing outside approval but you will have a new found appreciation in applauding and encouraging from within.

Be proud of you. Be proud of your efforts. Thank frustration. Do the work.

are you letting unworthiness hold you back from building a great business?

You are in a great place. So many good things are heading your way. Life is finally starting to make sense yet you may be thinking that good is not possible for you. OR that you are not worthy of the good things in life.

Where does unworthiness come from?

When did you start to feel unworthy in life?

I read this today:

Abundance is everyone’s natural state before we project our restrictions on it – defining what it means, who has it, and who gets it.

We need to take ourselves out of our conditioning. Look through the lens of plenty and see just how much abundance you already have in your life. Life is filled with beauty, love, opportunities and divine synchronicities. We often can’t hear, feel, or detect direction because we are drowning in information. We are overstimulated to the point of distraction of what is true for us.

I was feeling un-ease over the weekend. And I realize that my phone is driving me nuts. I was looking at how much time I spend, looking, relooking, checking, picking up, putting down, checking again. It’s so bad now that I can’t watch a full episode of anything without checking my phone.

I am an already anxious type – can you imagine what this is doing to my anxiety?

I keep hearing a whisper to slow down, step away from social media. I am in crisis. Everything is so attached to social feedback. It’s the drug that no one wants to talk about, but we are all addicts. Needing the hit – first thing in the morning and thousands of times thereafter, before we finally fall off to sleep.

We sleep but there is no real rest and then we start over.

For me, this is now causing empathy overload where I am tuned in to the collective angst and fear about impending changes and uncertainties – all of which are unmanageable and I feel as if I am drowning in a sea of emotions, many of which aren’t my own!

Unworthiness can only begin to seep in, when we are so disconnected from ourselves, so dependent on the approval and “OK” of someone out there, that we lose our sense of self. We forget who we are and can no longer hear the guidance from within which never fails.

Marianne Williamson says it beautifully here on

I trust life not because I trust the world, but because I trust the God who lives in my heart. I try to remind myself not to go anywhere or do anything without asking for spiritual direction through prayer and meditation. I don’t trust that there are no muggers in the park, no people who would mistreat my heart. But I trust my intuition, my common sense and my intelligence. I would not enter that park or that relationship or that business situation without first checking in with my internal radar, for that is how God speaks to us…When we stay close to the wisdom of our own knowing, seeking solutions to our problems in the sanctuary of the heart and not in the vanity of the mind, then we can pretty much trust in the unfolding, mysterious wisdom of life.

We need to detach and soar above all the noise and clamor below. With the eyes of an eagles we can witness it all – the good, the bad, the ugly, but also the beautiful, remarkable, exciting possibilities that abound. When we meet obstacles we will rise above them, knowing that we are protected. We will rise above the judgment slings, and the arrows of envy from those who are still arguing with the pigeons below over crumbs.

I don’t think we will ever feel fully equipped, so there will always be doubt. Perhaps there is wisdom in acting despite the doubt, fears AND feelings of unworthiness. Let’s not waste time wondering why we feel unworthy. Let us trust and act on Spirit’s guidance NOW. Let us not hesitate as hesitation removes the air from beneath our wings and will drag us downward and as we lose altitude, mar or vision, and cause distortion in our reality field.

Trust your heart and your instincts.

Move forward with fear but do not waver.

Now is your time. It’s our time to act courageously and decisively. You can, we can, and we must!

as an entrepreneur what keeps you going when you want to give up?

We are never privy to the underbelly of that road to success. Even when movies are made, the struggle time is short, the challenges glamorized; the director has an hour and a half to run us through a gamut of emotions, with our eyes fixed on the hero, knowing at the get-go that she would be successful.

We don’t get to learn lines or get into character. We are living and dealing as shit comes up – challenging us day in, and day out.

What keeps you going?

I’ve always been driven by something larger than me. I don’t think I have everything I need but that feeling, that drive, never leaves. Even when I kick back and succumb to watching a series on T.V. in lieu of doing the work, it’s there.

Speaking of series, I was watching The Sinner named after the book published in 1999, by Petra Hammesfahr’s which served as the basis for the first season. In Season 3 much of the discussion is around confronting death, and living fully. It got me thinking about perfection and procrastination. Are we in some indirect way trying to stave off death as much as we could? Because if we actually complete things and achieve stuff, then what’s left for us? Do we somehow believe that these large, looming, reasons to live, that consume us are such that once complete – our lives are over?

If something seems impossible, this is what drives us. Not the easy or the doable. The impossible is challenging. Makes us think. We need to find a solution. This is the drive, the impetus for continuing with the journey.

When we are young, we overestimate our runway – the time it takes to achieve our destiny. We don’t have tons of money but we know that time is on our side. When we are older we believe there is not enough time.

Both views have zero merit.

That we can control what happens in our lives is an idea worth letting go of.

I was surprised to learn that one of my favorite authors Robert Greene, had a stroke. A friend of mine told me that he’d had a mild stroke, sometime in 2022. Healthy people get cancer. Freak accidents occur. Tragedy strikes when we least expect it.

I know that confronting death seems macabre, but perhaps we need to use it as a catalyst. My grandmother used to say “eat drink and be merry for tomorrow, you may die”. The Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius pronounced that “perfection of character is this: to live each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretense.”

With an impossible task at hand – we must do all that we can to achieve that placed in us, that known only to us, that urge, that desire to do that thing…we must commit to doing whatever it takes towards achievement. And we must never go under the spell that we have lots of time or that we have too little time. Each day we must make the most of that day. Do our best. Work on our impossible task. Live as if, it were our last. And if this is not the case – KEEP GOING!

does your small business marketing feel like an impossible puzzle?

The Clearly Impossible Puzzle is being sold on Amazon and described as uniquely designed to be one of the hardest puzzles you will ever complete (if you can). Numerous false edge and corner pieces is an additional twist! Every piece is completely different, no piece is the same.

I know that marketing can feel like an impossible puzzle. There are numerous occasions where, when you factor everything in, you have all the pieces, yet often it feels as if something is missing or the pieces you have are not fitting together and giving you what you want.

I’m guessing that this impossible puzzle probably will take a lot of focus and concentration especially since there are numerous false edges. I’m guessing too that the builder will probably get frustrated, umpteen times before finishing or giving up.

We are all seeking a solution to our marketing challenges because we understand that without it, we are dead.

Perhaps what we need is to take a step back from all the pieces. Maybe we need to refocus on what we are trying to build. What problems are we solving and for whom? Are we guessing at what our clients want or are we asking them? Are we forcing what we have on our clients, like how we sometimes force two pieces of a puzzle together, in frustration, hoping for a miracle?

I don’t know how long it will take you to build – figure out – your marketing puzzle but I do know it won’t help looking at what others are doing. You are your own entity, with different strengths and different talents. What is impossible is to attempt at replicating someone else’s success story, exactly like it happened for them. They own that.

What you need to do is look at all the pieces in your puzzle and build out what only you can build.

This is the work. Start here.

And if you want company, join other like-minded Caribbean business owners, navigating their own journey here.

If you remove yourself from your brand would you lose real connection?

Yesterday, I was researching social anxiety. It’s not something I talk about liberally, but it occurred to me yesterday that perhaps more people suffer with social anxiety than I initially thought.

I came across an entrepreneur who talked a lot about women and anxiety. She explored the effects of anxiety and what it was costing women in business.

I was stoked by her message and decided to reach out and connect through LinkedIn.

I got a response but it wasn’t from her. Someone else was managing her page. The person attempted to sound all upbeat and enthusiastic. Promised to share my sentiments but it was like a splash of cold water. I felt let down.

It made me think of us business owners as we grow.

When we are struggling, we are willing to talk to everyone. We yearn the connection. Our popularity increases and so does everything else; pretty soon we are overwhelmed. We need order. We need to delegate. In order to focus on what we do best, we let others handle the smaller things, like responding to messages.

This is a challenge we will face especially solo professionals.

What sold followers in the first place was you.

Now you are removing yourself.

I guess one could say this is inevitable. A movie star starts off acting off, off Broadway and then makes a debut on the big screen. One minute she is responding to your IG comments on her thread next minute she no longer responds. Crickets.

Are we conditioned into thinking that perhaps we need a guru, an expert, an influencer…someone else other than ourselves, to lead us towards positive and profitable results?

Too much is placed on hero worship.

Those that we choose to worship owe us nothing really. It’s the trajectory of growth and expansion. But we must choose growth and expansion for ourselves. We must choose to take the message but not worship the messenger. And we must balance external seeking and internal adventure, awareness and knowing within our own lives.

That way, when someone grows to the point where they can’t connect personally, we don’t feel empty inside, or hurt by their actions. We would take nothing personally because we have such a sturdy unwavering foundation within…our go to place if we ever feel off kilter, needing direction or simply needing to connect.

Within every belief is a lie

Think about your life so far as a book of sorts…and then think about what you’ve come to believe. Your book is filled with beliefs that you’ve collected over many years, from stuff your grandparents, parents, teachers, and friends told you; great grandparents and generations before you have influenced what you believe. You also form belief from books you’ve read, subjects you studied, and documentaries, movies and news programs you’ve watched.

In every belief there is the truth, and there is a lie. How can you discern truth?

Some beliefs have no doubt been helpful, and some have been definitely holding you back.

How we present ourselves in the real world is a projection of how we believe we need to be.

For a long time, even though I knew intuitively that only authenticity will attract real lasting abundance and prosperity, I chose not to emphasize that aspect of my work because I believed that people would not be interested.

Today I ask: how will you know if you’re interested in something that you’re not even aware of?

We often here about authenticity but how do we access our authentic self?

You can play ‘dress up’ for so long that you forget who you are. You let the world see a persona, but it’s not necessarily YOU in YOUR ESSENCE.

The first step towards authenticity is to unmask your character.

The more you are SEEN, the more influential you can be. Your attitude and application affects how others perceive you and this contributes significantly to how your contribution is received. The more self-knowledge you possess, the greater your influence.

It starts here. Know thyself. Don’t assume you do.

I put together a short presentation that shows you how you can explore the story that drives you and discover the insight you need to live well. Click here to take a look at that now. [You will find it about mid-way down that page.]

This is important to you and your livelihood. Many of the problems that you are encountering start here – not knowing and understanding WHO YOU ARE. I will no longer keep quiet about this.

This is necessary and oh so rewarding when you realize that you have are predisposed to a natural style and natural pattern of behaviour and success comes more quickly, when you find projects that allow you to exercise this pattern.

Do you doubt your own ability to make a difference?

Self-doubt is par for the course. We all doubt ourselves from time to time. Today however it’s worse. Why, because we now measure everything we do by likes and comments from friends – some we know well, many are just ‘friends’ on social media.

A like, a reaction, becomes our external grading feature. We have moved away from being able to assess how we are doing on a deep and very personal level. So much so that many days we might feel empty, not even perhaps realizing that we are reacting to a low like score from a recent post.

We have become sharers of pictures, of events, of accomplishments; occasionally we share something that is very private. We are driven by a need to belong, a need for inclusion and a need to be accepted and liked.

Too much out there, not enough internal connection. Many of us are so far adrift that we have lost connection with what is real for us and what really matters.

This is one of my favorite quotes and I have used it before in previous posts but I love it for the message. It is a quote from Martha Graham to Agnes de Mille:

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.

No artist is pleased…there is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction. A blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”

I believe that we are all artists. We are all creating something from nothing. Those thoughts, those ideas that we literally think are a dime a dozen have been given to us, to do what only we can do with it. This is not to say that similar ideas don’t exist. It is to say that similar ‘yous’ don’t exist. There is only one you and only you can bring that idea to life…like you.

Don’t let dissatisfaction thwart your efforts. Don’t let a lack of belief keep you tethered to fear. Don’t let outside voices and external noise block your efforts. Be aware of the urges that surface and act on them.

The bottom line: quit comparison and remember that while there is always enough – YOU ARE ALSO ENOUGH – as is, no apologies.

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